At my worst, I never treated past girlfriends so badly. Yes, I’m talking about my blog and the attention (or lack thereof) that’s been delivered lately.
Just like a gazillion relationships with some of the women in my life, it started with good intent. I was enamored with the thought of saying whatever I please and no holds barred…
Okay, that’s the problem. I can’t say just anything. Sure, it started that way—in fact it was considered cute when I’d rail about something sacred or express an opinion that was very different from the popular center. Then, along came the tribunal–you know, the judges. Friends, family and the like.
“Wow Mike, that’s kinda creepy you feel that way,” or even worse—silence.
Did that bother me?
Well, kinda, but I pulled my usual attitude of defiance, independence and freedom of speech, which eventually put me on an island. “Who cares what others think?” thought I. The words of a past writing coach kept coming back–“Don’t worry about what people think. Release your inhibitions. Blah. blah, blah…”
Now that’s okay, but just as I stopped calling those afore mentioned women, I stopped writing this blog. I found every excuse imaginable. Too busy, no ideas right now, waste of time, no one reads it anyhow—all the usual stuff.
Then I realized something.
This page is as much, if not, more for me, as it is for anyone who reads it. If ever, I want it to develop, thrive and possibly make a difference, I must cultivate this relationship, which is really between myself and I. Discipline, work and setbacks are part of the process and the reward will give me comfort, joy and a purpose to those pent up thoughts. Right?
Well, anyway, here I am, back on the typewriter, writing a blog. Sort of like calling that scorned woman one month later. Does Hell truly hath no fury?
Don’t know, but I’m back baby!