There’s a tightness one can feel in the gut. Comes along every so often. And usually at night.
Hemingway wrote so well in his classic The Sun Also Rises, “This was Brett that I had felt like crying about. Then I thought of her walking up the street and stepping into the car, as I had last seen her, and of course, in a little while, I felt like hell again. It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night is another thing.”
During the day we make the big decisions. Purchases, relationship choices, eating and drinking… We are empowered thus behave boldly.
The sun drops and all turns quiet. No matter how loud the TV, the house remains eerily still. You can work on a project, wash clothes, read a book. Doesn’t matter. It is nighttime and the respective seeds of reflection and loneliness rear their powerful heads.
Time to set the timer on the coffee maker, check out Facebook. Sure, that’ll help. Other lost souls wandering around the empty cyber world. Seems not far removed from a one-way trip to the moon…and there you sit alone, staring at the earth below. As you gaze at the blues, greens and brown panorama, you sense lucky people who live their privileged lives. Happy family, mates who love them and always the next day to look forward to.
Or do they tilt their eyes up toward you and wish for solace far away….
Tonight’s cure—pull my son off the computer and make him laugh some. Talk about school—plan a bike ride and pizza for the weekend. Read a little fiction. Get my head out of my ass and then go to sleep.
Tomorrow marks a new morning. And then, there is the night…